Leap Year Reflection

The Single Girl

Now, it’s been on my mind for some time and somewhere down the line, I’d always wanted to write about this on my blog.

My 25th birthday is approaching in just under two months and although I did really have this idea when I was sixteen by ‘twenty-five’ I would be coupled up with some nice man, in a nice little setup, with potential engagement on the cards (well let’s be serious at 16, you think 25 is ancient…) yet the irony is I couldn’t be further from the picture-perfect ideal that I had in my mind!

Dating is hard…

Although despite the hardship of a couple of knocks here and there I can certainly say I’ve stayed true to myself, the hardest part is bottling things up, keeping many a secret over the last few years for the men I’ve been in love with to spare them a few blushes or avoid them any kind of confrontation in their new relationship ventures after me. You probably ask why… well, this is Georgia and being Georgia means everyone’s best interest is at heart.

I’m in no means perfect, I cry when I’ve had a drink from time to time, I love dancing, with anyone…which on a couple of occasions has got me into trouble… Summer 2018 in DC10 when I asked my then partner to join me for a couple of day’s holiday with the family, I don’t think I was allowed to dance at all on the holiday if I can remember (not ideal). Yet I’m definitely no game player, I’m not a cheat, I’m a hard worker and I’m generally up for a laugh 9 times out of 10…so what’s the problem?

Now I think I’ve cracked it or thereabout, I’m quite happy and content at the moment, I take myself on dates, I’m super focused on my career, my friendship group, my relationship with myself and my family which all took a serious knock back in late 2018/ early 2019 and I’ve been working hard ever since to make it right. I’m not going to pretend every day is rosy either, sometimes tucking yourself up in bed for the 130th day in a row alone isn’t ideal, or all your girls, in your group, in the group chat do in fact have a lover…it can get a little tedious.

I’ve decided to stay on this path of looking after myself and those around me until I’m ready, it’s not in my nature to be rude or hurt anyone’s feeling although when dating it can be assumed things are personal if it just doesn’t go quite right with them- I’m also guilty of this but really majority of the time it’s because of timing and if two people are ready to love and respect each other it will work- you can’t push yourself on someone and they can’t push themselves on you, that’s a recipe for disaster. 

You’ll probably laugh, but I actually think I’ve now well and truly seen it all. From partners/ex partners messaging your sister for a Friday night hook up, to calling your Mum on a Saturday morning trying to tell her you’re every b*tch under the sun, maybe going missing with a ‘friend’ of yours for a couple of hours on a night out…or why not throw an engagement into the mix after they’ve messaged you on every birthday, Christmas, dog’s birthday, new job promotion…any celebration you’ve ever had for the last five years (insert here). It can be brutal, it can be hard but with 2020 now well underway I’m surprisingly feeling more positive than ever and looking forward to what this year brings me.

I’ll say in closing…date when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely and thank you to those who are and have been undoubtedly kind and patient with me offering wonderful valued friendship and care, you know who you are.